A tribute to a young man...

a young man who only had 12 birthdays.  He only had 12 Christmases and 12 New Years.  I was never blessed to meet him. His  Mom and I are friends.  We met only 5 years ago, but the Head Honcho knew his Mom 'Blondie' all through high school and even when this young man was born.  The Head Honcho even remebers this young man as a baby.  This young man should have turned 21 today.  A special birthday.  Blondie would have for sure celebrated with him.  Unfortunately, he never reached his 21st birthday.  He was taken too soon at 12, in a car accident.  He was rollerblading (if I recall the story correctly, remember I really only recently met Blondie) and was hit by a car that ran a stop sign.  Sickening.  Every.Parent's.Nightmare.  Blondie never got to say goodbye or I love you to him.  They were trying to save him.  Try as they may, he was so special he was called to heaven at only 12 years old to take care of bigger buisness. 

A heart wrenching story right?  Something that a family member can surely not forget.  Losing a child under such horrible circumstances.  Why world, why when Blondie commerates his birthday on her facebook page with something along the lines of birthday in heaven, why do people 'like' it and even worse, offer to buy drinks and tell him to rock on?!!  Hard enough for Blondie to reach December 27 every year.  But now, you insensitive jerk (whom by the way are related!) tell her son who is flying behind her every step of the way to rock on?!  Take a class on class.  You my friend need to understand that sometimes saying nothing is best.  Sometimes being a shoulder is better than voicing a misguided opinion.  Please understand that while you may go on day to day and not have to bear the burden of not hugging your child or telling them you love them, some people are not as blessed.  Think of them often, ask them how they are doing.  See if they need to talk.  Be a friend, be someone who cares.  Remeber that child's birth (and sadly) death date and check on them in the weeks before and after.  With all of the technology today it isn't much to drop them a line here and there and see if they need you.  A true friend would.  Be that friend.

Merry Christmas to all...

and to all a good night...oh wait to early for that?  Not at this house.  The Head Honcho is already taking nap.  I guess that gives me the ok to nap for a bit right?  Well, I would but, I have laundry going, dishes to wash, little freaking plastic ties to undo.  I also am saving my customary nap for when there is something that I don't want to do going on...then it is a big ole' nap for me!!

Who I won't/can't take parenting advice from...

There are very few people that I won't illicit or listen to parenting advice from... I am a do what works for you type, but some people do not deserve the priviledge of telling me the way 'they' do it.  One is convicts... you may not display the best choices...look around you.  'Nuff said.

The second is from the 'nice' lady that helped me at the Walmart Site to Store station today.  I am a big HATER of Walmart.  So many reasons, so little time.  Well, today the Big and Little Kid both tagged along with me to pick up a few items we 'need'.  I had to pick up a few site to store things so we headed back to the nook they have set up for it.  Just my luck the same lady that was there two days ago (when I asked if both items were in, she said no, I got home 10 minutes later and there was an email that it was in)that harrassed me about the no license thing was there.  Well, at least she will remeber me. 

She got defensive right away when I said 'I am here for the OTHER order'  She was all intimidated by me and told me well it didn't get here until after you left.  Like way after I think it was 5 or 6.  I blew it off.  (so not like me...she was inviting a fight)  I said well, at least I don't have to have my license since you remeber me.  She went on a tirade about how I may be the person that stole the purse and am now picking up my $30 worth of toys.  That is my master plan.  Steal a purse, don't produce the id and then go from store to store and pick up that persons gifts.  Really?

But when she was finished yelling at me about getting a license she asked if the two 'angels' over there were mine?  They were playing which hand and actually behaving so this time I claimed them.  She looked at Big Kid and tells me...you know we have winter clothes on sale.  He may find something cheap enough that you can buy him.  OK Big kid hates pants, coats, sleeves, socks, shoes, shorts, shirts, you name it.  I am happy when he has the important parts covered.  I think he does it for the looks, he is a joker, but as long as he covers the privates I let it slide.  In fact, when I bought him school clothes I specifically bought him shorts and tees as I knew that was all he was going to wear. 

But back to the Walmart Lady.  I do not care if the clothes are cheap.  He is still not going to wear them.  Even more so since they come from Walmart.  We are not snobs (mostly) but a teenage boy wants to wear 'name' brand and we budget so he can.  It has nothing to do with the price, it is his 'style' I have been told.  So I told her that he simply prefers to be dressed that way.  She said, not in my house, my kids are dressed appropriately at all times.  I inquired her kids ages.  Eight, Six, Five, Three, and One.  My, aren't we a busy lady.  And, I noted to her I have a three year old in the cart.  He is dressed in Uggs, jeans, sweater, turtleneck, fleece jacket, and has a hat in the back of the cart.  I do know how to dress my kids, but once they hit 15 you really can't dress them anymore.  You fight the fights you want to.  He does wear pants (*the one pair he owns) to work as it required.  There is no place else that he goes that he HAS to wear pants so he doesn't.  If he is a 'happy' kid wearing what he wears he will.  The minute he turns into a brat we will take away the shorts and tees and only have pants and sweaters.  For now, it works. 

So Walmart Lady, thank you for berrating me about the license, telling me I am a bad parent and also for working at the Site to Store station.  If you weren't there today (and two days ago) I wouldn't know that I HAVE to have my license and that I am a bad parent.  Happy Holidays!!

Big Fella

So...when Little Kid was a year old I was searching for a Christmas gift for him and heard that the Cabbage Patch Doll had an anniversary doll out.  The hardest to find (and naturally selling for 10x the value on ebay) was a bald boy with a pacifier.  Well, Head Honcho and I found one!  And then, the decision...keep the highly sought after doll or sell?  Due to lack of time, we kept the doll.  It was given to Little kid.  That makes 2 dolls in the house of 3 boys!  Big Kid was given a special edition Olympic Cabbage Patch Doll for his first birthday.  Sadly, Middle Kid has never received a Cabbage Patch Doll....hmmm maybe a holiday gift this year?

Anywho, Little Kid has rarely had interest in Terrance (we think that was his name) over the last year and a half.  Occassionally the thing would be dragged out and beaten up and then put away.  He always seems to be the villan or dinosaur in some diaster in Little's room.  The last few weeks Little Kid has gotten a little 'soft'.  He has carried the doll around here and there.  Taken him with us to the store, bank, even rode to school with him. 

Since the doll has been tagging along, I asked Little Kid what he was going to call the baby.  In my mind I was thinking Peter Parker since he has a deep love for Spiderman and even occassionally will only answer to that himself.  Nope, he has a special name in mind.  Big Fella.  Yup, we are carrying around a doll that we have named Big Fella.  Big Fella is starting to go everywhere with us.  We even had to find a change of clothes for him since his was 'dirty'. 

For now, we think it is cute.  If he continues to carry Big Fella past preschool years we will intervene.

One week from today...

By this time next week, the wrapping will be done and then undone, the toys will be bought and opened.  The faces of anticipation will be replaced with faces of joy.  The checkbook will be thinned out and the store shelves will match. 

But to get there...I need to get out there... and shop...wish me luck...the Head Honcho and I are headed out... It could be bad....

Attention Rude Cashier...

I know it is the holiday season and by the looks of it you have an animal to slaughter at home.  I also understand that your store has set holiday hours and you have your television schedule revolved around that.  I am simiply a lady on the hunt for a snowman basket.  Your store was one that I was told may just have what I am looking for.  Since the Head Honcho and I were in town *we are country folk and all* and I thought I may as well give your store a chance.

I am aware that your door says you close at 9.  I did a careful look at my watch when I saw your sign.  8:40.  Twenty minutes is plenty of time to run in, ask you if you carry what I am searching for and run out.  Five minutes tops I have planned to be in your store.  When I walk in the door (well aware you have 20 minutes to stand there and complain about me) and you immediately and audibly groan followed by a loud complaint to your other cashier friend that you hate when customers come into your store when you are about to close you have only done one thing to me.

You my friend have encouraged me.  The immediate annoucment that the store is closing in 5 minutes (more like 20 Big Ben) ups the ante.  I will now look up and down each and every aisle for anything and everything.  Sometimes your annoucments peeve me enough to carry an item from one aisle and put it away.  Two aisle away.  Don't mess with me cashier.  I am simply searching for the right gift and you are not helpful.  When I walk out at 20 minutes past close empty handed and smile brightly and say 'Happy Holidays' don't get mad at me.

Get mad at yourself.  Perhaps instead of being negative, if you approached me and politely asked me if I needed help finding what I was looking for, I would have asked for a damn snowman basket and you would have told me that no such item is in your store.  Instead of your passive aggressive attempts at getting me out of the store a polite how can I help you would have gotten you out of the store on time. 

Happy Holidays...How can I help you?

Shopping Wall....

So, I have hit the preverbial wall.  I am a shopping machine.  Most of the time.  I can buy ANYTHING.  I have skills like that.  Generally, I can buy anything without paying full retail.  Again, it is the skills!  Head Honcho and I disagree on my shopping, but he is accepting.  And by accepting, I mean he hasn't thrown me to the streets, yet.  The one time of year where he doesn't question my shopping, is here.  Holiday time!  I am given Carte Blanche and usually encouraged to buy more!!!

This should be dream season for me right?  But here is the issue.  I.Can't.Shop.  I can't find one thing that I think one of the Littles needs/wants.  I can't decide on who needs what.  I am as indecisive as they come!  I did go Black Friday and loaded my cart.  And then put most of it back!  What a fool I am!  I could be done with one kid easily.  Now, I am at a loss.  I don't know what to get them, I don't know what they would like.

And now the holiday stress sets in.  Along with work, chaffeur boys to hockey, cook, clean, bake 2 bazillion dozen cookies, I HAVE to shop.  I HAVE to have the perfect gift.  And just when I think I have a handle on it.  Oops...guess what I forgot we have to buy for...insert any name here...Crap!

I have just over a week to complete ALL of my holiday shopping.  That with whatever time I have in between all of the events and hustle and bustle.  Fantastic!  I am hoping everyone has been DREAMING of a gift card to Lowe's  this year, because that just may be the only thing left by the time I get to the store!

Hockey Mom

I am not talking about the 'normal' hockey mom here.  The one that carts kids to and fro, early mornings, late nights, freezing rain, snow up to your ears hockey mom.  That job is hard enough... I am talking about a real hockey playing mom. 

I am not sure if what I have been doing is considered 'playing' hockey, but I have been putting on the gear (my 10 year old son's gear, but it fits, sad right?) and going out there every Sunday for the past month or so.  And. Let. Me. Tell. You.  Itishard!!! I seriously didn't even know what hand I was.  I assumed right, since I am a righty for everything else.  Nope I was quickly told I am a lefty.  So the following week I used a lefty stick.  I have now been told I switch hands.  Since carrying an extra stick on my back isn't possible, I have to force myself to be one or the other.  I have bought a lefty stick, therefore, I am a lefty. 

I use to be a raving lunatic in the stands, telling my kids and their teammates where they should be and how they should shoot.  I am not going to say I won't yell ever again, but I do now know how hard it is to get there and do this or do that.  Of course they have had years of practice over me, but man, just to catch a pass is hard.  Hell, even knowing which way to look for the puck provides for entertainment.  I spin sometimes, not really on purpose, but I do. 

Just to skate up and down the ice is tiring.  Then to try and keep a puck on your stick, with your head up, and prepare to shoot.  Well, sometimes not all three things happen at once.  Sometimes they do.  That is what I call a miracle.  Luckily, we are just a bunch of women with a few men sprinkled in that are out there for fun and exercise.  We have a high school student as a coach.  He is a great hockey player and must look at us and laugh.  Occassionally there is a 'superstar' that shows up.  She shoots the puck hard and can skate circles around all of us.  One day I will catch up to her and trip her. 

Generally, we have a good time, leave the ice with smiles, and go home and soak in a hot tub to soothe the surely exhausted muscles.  I sleep great on Sunday nights.  It is not always because I have spent 5 hours in the car taking the kids to their games.  It isn't always because we got up at the crack of dawn to get to their games and support them.  Sometimes, it is about me.  And the fact that I am far too old to be skating up and down that dreaded ice week after week.  But yet I go back!

So I will no longer be one of those hockey moms.  Yelling and screaming for Johnny to skate to the point (side note, I don't know what a point is or where it is, if we are on home ice, it may be the hole that I fell into at practice last night...our ice needs serious repair) or go low...(BTW last night a superstar boy showed up...he told me if he got the puck for me to go low slot.  I laughed ... two problems where is low slot and getting there).  Just shooting the puck provides an exercise in skill and precision.  And then some people can lift the puck.  That means it goes in the air.  Yeah...If a goal is scored, anyway, I know how hard those 5 skaters out there had to work to get it and how hard the other 6 tried to stop it. 

I think instead of parent education on how to behave in the stands, every parent should be forced to put on the gear and try to play for an hour.  Appreciate how hard they work and how hard it is.  And then enjoy the fact that your kid can do it to whatever level and be proud of them for it.

Thanks to Little Brother!!

I got myself into this little mess, and thankfully, Little Brother was there to pull me out!  Well, he wasn't there, per se, but he was.  I dozed off after hockey practice this morning and was running late.  Dropped Little Kid to preschool and called the Head Honcho to give him my day plan.  (not that I HAVE to, I just like to let him know the plan) As I stopped at a traffic light I yelped "cop gotta run".  Hung up the phone and threw it as far as I could.  (As if throwing it to the other side of the van made it so I looked less guilty!)

Within half of a block, his lights went on.  Pulled over when safe (and used my blinker, because I am safe like that) My heart immediately started beating 5 times the normal speed.  You see, while I was talking to the Head Honcho, I told him I was taking the van in for inspection, since my registration had expired.  This is a big oops on my part.  A nice little Patrolman walked up.  My first thought, please be someone I know.  I know 3/4 of the local PD.  I have either taught their kid to skate, served them at work, or we have kids on the same hockey team.  Of course not, it is a new guy.  Just my luck!  His first question, and I was doomed!

"License please" To which I go into a long story about how I didn't get it replaced yet since the big robbery.  "When was your purse stolen ma'am?"  A month ago I sheepishly reply.  "Well, I was waiting for the police report and then I had to go to the DMV to get my registration done so I was going to do it all at once, but I haven't gotten an appointment for my inspection.  That is why I was on the phone.  It was the Head Honcho reminding me to call the garage" (This is why I can never commit a crime.  I sing like a canary! Notice he never mentioned the phone, the registration OR the inspection!)  He looks at the inspection sticker and looks up.  A bright shinny moment for me.  He looks directly at the Trooper sticker!!!

He looks back at me.  I again went into detail about expiration dates and how I was confused.  He stops me.  This can't be good.  He says if my license is clean he will simply write a cell phone ticket and forgive the 3 other tickets he could write.  I slyly say.  My brother is a Trooper.  I have never pulled that card.  (Usually I mention the local PD officers that I know so this is uncharted grounds for me)  He asks his name.  I reply and mention his station!  Bonus points for that I am sure.  I even said he noticed my stickers on Thanksgiving.  He smirks and walks away.

He comes back and says you are a lucky lady today.  Where are you headed?  I replied "home, to call inspection place to get that taken care of!"  He said you could have 4 tickets.  Get that taken care of and have a good day!

I carefully smiled and thanked him, rolled up my window, signaled and pulled out.  And came home and made an appointment for my inspection!

What day is it?

As if it isn't hard enough to remeber what 'specials' and lessons the kids have on what days and in what order the school district has decided to do away with scheduling on weekdays.  Now we have everything on numbered days!  Fantastic.  Is gym a day 4 or day 5 special?  Now today is Tuesday, I think, does that mean it is a day 4?  Who knows? 

I get the whole theory.  Mondays are a common day off for holidays.  So if you have Art on Mondays only you would miss a lot of Art class.  If Gym class was on Tuesdays you may miss a day here or there, but I guarentee you, my son will miss plenty of days because I have forgotten to send him with his sneakers. 

I know, plan ahead, write the corresponding day on the calendar and just rotate them that way.  Great, except when you miss a day for a snow day.  Throws off the rest of the calendar.  Now you have scribble marks and numbers everywhere. 

Middle Kid takes trumpet, is in band and chorus.  That is 3 extra specials to remeber in the rotation.  I will be the first to admit, he has forgotten his instrument on more than one occassion.  Along with his 3 'extras' we also have Art, Music, Gym, Library, and Computer.  Some times he has 3 specials a day!  Soon his day will consist of only specials.  In this day and age Computer should not be a 'class'.  All they do is surf the net.  Yeah he does that at home too.  There is an extra 30 mins he can use for Math.  Gym should be audited if the kid takes part in a sport outside of school for more than 60 mins a week.  Middle Kid plays hockey for roughly 240 minutes a week.  He plays year round.  He gets his exercise.  An extra 60 minutes a week to Math again!  A kid that is participating in trumpet, band and chorus is getting their music requirement.  Another 30 minutes a week to Math. 

With that, I have added 120 minutes of class time to Math, and taken away 3 specials to remeber and maybe one day, we will figure out what day to bring the dang trumpet to school!